By Jocelyn Flores

August 28, 2021

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La verdad es que well I’ve only seen one live corpse in my life

and pos I had only met that boy- he was a man truth be told,

once. His face, it still haunts me and I should be thankful that

the pueblo knows you because no one had to identify your body

and haunt them with your image. Mi sueño, lo que tanto deseo

es que yo pueda llegar a su hogar and feel at home. I want to find

a photograph of me and Jessica in your room. I wonder if you

made your bed before your death. Did abuelita, Oh! Wait-

abuelita you’re here too, duh! Tanta muerte here. Did you cook

arroz one last time? Does anyone have the recipe? Tia Elia says I

must have inherited your cooking chops. I never got to leave you

both some flowers, didn’t get my vesper’s goodbye, didn’t see

the earth take you, se los comió a los dos. Una última cena entre

ustedes y la tierra. And what I fear is that I will sit down

somewhere to finish the stories still living inside of me but you

won’t let me. I would probably smell abuelito’s cigaros through

the hallways or I’d hear a needle going through burlap and that’s

your way of saying to me that is your home but not mine. Not

mine because my story didn’t begin here, nor did it end. I just

want a welcome. So that I can leave flowers on your tombstone.

Y decirles cuanto los extrano. And ask that you send the rice

recipe my way, give me the signs y’know! And I think I want you

to meet my girlfriend, no yeah, I need you to witness my good love.

Jocelyn Flores

Jocelyne Flores, most commonly known as Jocey, is a 24 year-old queer lesbian non-binary performer/poet currently living in Montebello (tongvaland). They have a self-published book titled Sopita De Letras available on Barnes and Noble.