By Fairley Lloyd
October 10, 2021
Joanna bit her lip as she stepped inside the seafood restaurant. All of the tables were empty, except for one. A man in a blue shirt and white khakis stood at a table. He seemed to be glaring at the menus the waiter had laid on the table.
It was Dr. Stevens, the man she was looking for. Earlier, he and Joanna had met at a grocery store. After they talked, he invited her to a dinner to see if she could work at his pharmaceutical company.
What am I even doing here? Joanna thought. I doubt some doctor is going to hire an English major to work at his pharmacy!
Sighing, Joanna approached Dr. Stevens at his table. He finally stopped glaring at the menu and looked up.
“Joanna, darling!” Dr. Stevens said. “I’m so glad you could make it.”
“Hi, Doctor Stevens,” Joanna said.
“Please, call me Dr. S. There’s no need for the formalities.”
“Um, okay.”
“Have a seat,” Dr. Stevens—Dr. S—said. “Don’t just stand there.”
Joanna took the empty seat next to him.
“How are you doing?” he asked.
“I’m good,” Joanna said. “Thank you, again, for inviting me. I really appreciate it.”
“Oh, it’s nothing,” Dr. S said. “I’m just glad I ran into you! Why, when I found out that you were friends with Jackie who was friends with Elizabeth who was friends with Christian who was friends with Gary, how could I not invite you to dinner?”
Joanna smiled (she really had no idea what he was talking about) and stared at the menu lying in front of her.
“You know what Elizabeth said to me?” Dr. S said. “She asked if you still attended UNCW. It’s been a while since you’ve seen her, hasn’t it?”
“I think so,” Joanna said. “Probably.”
“You don’t mind seafood, do you?” Dr. S said. “I know we’re already at a seafood restaurant, but I forgot how picky some people are about their food.”
“I like seafood,” Joanna said. “Honestly, I’ll eat anything.”
“Perfect!” Dr. S said. “Feel free to order anything off the menu. We won’t be here for long. I have some papers I need you to sign later.”
“Papers?” Joanna said. “For what?”
Dr. S stared at her.
“For your new job, of course!” he said. “Really now. Are you trying to pull my leg?”
“You’re hiring me?”
“No,” Dr. S said, “I’m hiring the other Joanna that’s here. Yes, I’m hiring you! Why wouldn’t I?”
“You just met me,” Joanna said.
“So?” Dr. S asked.
“Don’t you want to know my background before you hire me?” Joanna asked. “My resume? cover letter? portfolio?”
“That’s ridiculous,” Dr. S said. “I don’t need any of that.”
“But you do!” Joanna said. “You can’t hire someone you just met!”
“Yeesh!” Dr. S said. “Last time I checked, I was in charge of my own company! I can do what I want.”
“That’s not how things work!” Joanna said. “I know I don’t work, but I know that’s not how you run a business!”
Dr. S stared at her.
“Do you want a job or not?” he said.
“Oh, no!” Joanna said. “I mean, yes! I do want a job.”
“Then why are you arguing with me?” Dr. S asked.
“Isn’t there usually a process to this?” Joanna said. “I mean, you could have hired anyone you ran into, but you chose me. What made you want to hire me?”
“I invited you to dinner,” Dr. S said.
“I know,” Joanna said.
“I always hire people I invite to dinner.”
“You do?”
“That’s what I just said, isn’t it?” Dr. S said. “It’s a process I’ve developed over the years. Step 1. Meet someone new. Step 2. Invite that person to dinner. Step 3. Hire the person invited to dinner.”
“This is how you run your business?” Joanna said.
“It’s worked before,” Dr. S said. “Why stop now?”
“That doesn’t make any sense.”
“It’s not that complicated. I like you. You want a job. End of story.”
Dr. S shook his head impatiently.
“Are you ready to order?” he said. “This conversation has gone on way too long. Frankly, I’m starving!”
Joanna stared at him.
“Did you know I was high school dropout?” Dr. S said. “Best decision I ever made.”
“But—what about your doctorate?” Joanna said.
Dr. S burst into laughter.
“I don’t have a doctorate,” Dr. S said. “I didn’t even go to college!”
“But aren’t you a doctor?” Joanna asked.
“I just call myself a doctor because I like the title. Everyone else has to call me doctor, too.”
“Oh.”
“Now, are we going to eat or not?” Dr. S asked. “I’m not a friendly person on an empty stomach.”
Fairley Lloyd
Fairley Lloyd (she/her) is a 24-year-old writer, editor, and mermaid enthusiast based in North Carolina. She is just learning about astrological signs but is 100% sure she is an Aries. Her work appears in Giving Room Mag, Under the Wires Magazine, Press Pause Press, and elsewhere. Her Twitter and Instagram handles are @fairleylloyd.